As another year draws to an end and another one starts, I cannot help but feel so much gratitude for all that I have in this life. A stark contrast to exactly one year ago, when I remember feeling very differently. There was little gratitude in my heart, and instead, anger and resentment were eating away at my core. I couldn't quite grasp why a God who loves us deeply would allow myself and my husband to experience two devastating pregnancy losses. I touched upon this a bit in my blog post here, about finding hope in the midst of loss and grief.
This year, as I sit here and reflect, it would be too simplistic to say that life is great, when in fact, life is still not perfect by any means -- there is still pain, loss, and suffering. But this past year has taught me more about gratitude and patience than perhaps any other in recent years. The early half of last year was marked by two more painful miscarriages. I think I tried to numb out after those losses, because I was in disbelief that we could actually have four consecutive miscarriages in the span of a-year-and-a-half. I tried to get myself back together multiple times. I sought to hear God's voice and tried to live out my life according to His will. And in the end what really got me out of the rut was I came to the realization how much I already had, and gratitude once again made its way into my heart and slowly pushed out the darkness.
I have the perfect little girl, a loving and supportive husband, great friends, and the icing on top of the cake was that I love what I do. Running a business is super hard work, but at the end of the day I get to wake up every day and create pieces that help celebrate childhood and make special memories for your families - it's an incredibly rewarding job.
I've been learning that while tragic and painful things happen in life, if I could condition my heart and mind to see the good in the midst, then life is still full of wonder and hope. And if there's anyone more suited to teach me about these things, it would be my little girl June. She has truly shown me how to see the world with optimism and with magical goggles.
So, while I don't have amazing revelations or epiphanies to share with you regarding this new year, what I do know is that I want to practice gratitude more this year, and not to sweat the small stuff, even if it feels really awful to me when things aren't perfect or out of my control.
Cheers, friends -- I hope your new year will be bright and full of joy and gratitude.
Special thanks to my friend @beautybysofiabee for making me and June up for our photo shoot with @jodilynnphotography. June and I are wearing Holiday Cheers in Powder (girls' dress and mommy skirt) and I also wear the All-Wrapped Up Velour Top in Spruce. Our flower crowns are by the talented @masonandharlow, and June's shoes are from @livieandluca.