As I plop myself down to write this final blog post before baby #2 comes, I'll admit, I am feeling a bit emotional. Emotional that in just less than 4 weeks, our rainbow baby will come into our lives and change it forever. Emotional that we will finally be able to see big sis June growing into this role that she has always dreamed of. And honestly, I think I am also feeling slightly overwhelmed and unprepared to be a mom of a newborn again. What will my maternity leave look like now that I also run a business? How will I manage with two kids? And will my old friend postpartum depression return this time around? A lot of thoughts going through my head, as you can see...but, I know that once baby arrives, things will all fall into place.
A Bible verse that my husband and I constantly remind each other of whenever one of us is feeling anxious (mostly me haha) is Proverbs 3:5-6. There's even an old song by one of his favorite bands "Sixpence None the Richer" that we like to sing with June.
Trust in the lord with all your heart
Lean not on your own understanding
In all of your ways acknowledge him
And he will make you paths straight
Don't worry about tomorrow
He's got it under control
Just trust in the lord with all of your heart
And he will carry you through
Lord sometimes it gets so tough
To keep my eyes on you
When thinks are going rough
But when I turn my eyes up to the sky
And I hear your voice is says to me
So child do not be weary with the troubles
Of this world I have overcome...
I know perhaps it may sound a bit strange to have all these "worries" correlated to such a joyous event in life, but I think I have always been a worrier, and a perfectionist. Whenever I feel like things aren't ready or things aren't going the way I want them to, I get anxious. Hubby and June have been keeping me grounded though. I mean, June's excitement in anticipation of her baby sis is just contagious! Every night she kisses Baby sis goodnight and greets her in the morning and when she comes home from school. We feel truly excited to see her as a big sis!
Even though this pregnancy has been a lot more difficult for me physically (a lot of pain in the lower body due to a tailbone injury as well as extreme fatigue) than with our first, I take a lot of comfort and have gratitude for how healthy baby is, and how she's hitting her milestones at every check up. I still cannot believe that I am 37 weeks along and she can come any time in the next few weeks, but I am trusting God with even this exciting transition, that He will take care of us as a family, as well as our business.
I also feel a little bit of mommy guilt, that baby #2 is already not getting as much of my energy/attention as June. There is a lot more on my plate with running the business full time and raising a little girl. I have felt badly about baby's nursery not being done even now, just 3.5 weeks away (it's coming together very slowly, and I really only have energy to tackle one thing per day!). But, I also know that baby sis is the luckiest in the world already, with a big sis who is so beyond ready to welcome her into our family.
So, we are expecting our rainbow baby any day now...I may drop off for a bit on here as we adjust to being a family of four, but I am looking forward to coming back early next Spring with a new sense of purpose and inspiration.
Lastly, just for fun, I leave you with this animated video of our family! Thank you for supporting EleStory all these years and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us.
Judy, June, & Craig
P.S. June and I are wearing my last design of this season, the Heirloom Lace collection, as well as a variation of that that I had designed possibly for next year. ;)
Special thanks to my dear friend Mel @Melissagaylephoto for making time for us while back in Nor Cal, and to my sweet friend Sofia @beautybysofiabee for making me feel and look my best for this shoot b/c you know how much a preggo momma needs it! Also, June and I were so fortunate to have our flower crowns custom-made by Gina @masonandharlow, and our mommy and me matching shoes were gifts from our friend Aleksandra @miummash, all the way from Poland! Beyond grateful for all the love.